What is play therapy? What happens in the play room and how a session works

When parents first hear about play therapy, they are often puzzled: “My child already plays at home. What will be different here?” It’s a fair question. Play therapy doesn’t replace play at home. It is a therapeutic approach with a clear framework, designed to help children express their feelings and experiences. I work with child-centred play therapy and, at times, add sand tray work.

Why play

Adults describe their troubles in words: “I was really stressed this week, this happened at work, and it upset me.” Children are still developing that ability. We can’t expect a young child to say “since my sister was born, I’ve felt pushed aside.” But the same child may pick up a baby doll and put it down on the floor, or build a story in which a lion chases every other animal out of the house.

Play is a child’s language. Toys are the words, and play is the sentences. Through play, children act out what they have lived through, make frightening things smaller, take control in play of what they can’t control in real life, and show what they can’t say. My job is to listen to that language carefully and help the child feel understood.

What is in the play room

Most of my office in Karşıyaka is a play room. The toys are not chosen at random; each one is there to offer the child a different way of expressing something.

• Sand tray: a low tray of fine sand with a blue base that can become water or sky when the sand is pushed aside.
• Miniature figures: people, families, animals, houses, trees, vehicles, bridges, fairy tale characters, soldiers and monsters. Children use them to build their own world in the sand.
• Puppets: it is often much easier for a child to say something through a puppet than in their own voice.
• Paint and dough: finger paint, pastels, play dough. For some children, simply getting their hands messy matters.
• Blocks: building and knocking down. Toppling a tower is a safe way to try out strength.
• Home and family toys: a kitchen set, dolls, a doctor’s kit, a toy telephone. This is where everyday life gets played out.

Everything is placed at a child’s height, so children can reach what they want on their own. That alone tells them: here, you get to choose.

How a session works

Sessions usually take place once a week, on the same day and at the same time, and their length is set from the start. This regularity gives the child a predictable space.

At the start I say something short: “This is the play room. You can do many things here the way you want.” Then the child decides what to do. I don’t tell them what to play or steer the game. I stay close, watch and put what I see into words: “You put the lion right at the top.” “That tower is getting very tall, it looks like it might fall.” “This doll looks really angry today.”

These reflections seem small, but they tell the child something important: I see you, and I’m trying to understand how you feel. Over time, children become better at recognising and naming their feelings.

There are a few rules, and only a few: the child may not hurt themselves, me or the room. When a limit is needed, I say it calmly: “You want to throw sand at me, but I’m not for throwing sand at. You can throw it into the tray.” The feeling is accepted; the behaviour has a limit.

A few minutes before the end, I let the child know. This makes leaving the play easier. Children don’t have to tidy up; how they leave the room is part of the play too.

Sand tray work

In some sessions, children go to the sand tray, choose figures from the shelves and build a scene: a village, a battle, a seashore, or a world where everything is mixed up. I don’t interpret it or ask what it means. If they want to tell me about it, they do; if not, we look at it together in silence. Afterwards I photograph the scene, which helps me follow how things change over time.

How often I meet with parents

Play therapy is not only work with the child; parents are an important part of it. Before sessions with the child begin, I meet with parents separately. After that, we meet at regular intervals, usually every few sessions, and more often if needed. These meetings are held without the child and can be online. We talk about changes at home and news from school, and I share the general direction of the work, the themes I notice and approaches you can try at home. Sometimes I suggest a short weekly “special play time” at home, led by the child, with you alongside.

Confidentiality

The play room is the child’s safe space. To keep it that way, I don’t pass on the details of the child’s play. A report like “today he put the lion on top of his little brother” can hurt the child’s trust and lead to misreadings at home. Instead, I share general themes, such as “control and power have been coming up in recent sessions.”

There is one limit. If I notice a risk to the child’s safety or someone else’s, such as a suspicion of abuse or signs of self-harm, I have to share it with you and, when necessary, with the relevant authorities. I explain this limit to parents at the start, and to the child as well when they are old enough.

How long it takes

The honest answer is that it depends on the child. For some, a few months are enough; others need longer. Age, the kind of difficulty, how long it has been going on, and the support of family and school all play a part. That is why I don’t give you a number of sessions or promise an outcome at the first meeting. We review the process together regularly, and the ending is planned with the child rather than done suddenly.

If there is a question about a diagnosis such as ADHD or autism, the diagnosis is made by a child and adolescent psychiatrist; as a psychologist I provide assessment and support, and the two can go side by side.

A first step

If you’d like to talk about whether play therapy suits your child, the first step can be a free 15-minute introductory call. You tell me briefly what is going on, and I explain how I work and what the next steps might be.